🌿 The Heart of a Community Builder

People often ask me what it takes to be a good community builder.
I usually answer: a lot of heart. 😄
Community builders (yes, youth workers too – though this piece is speaking mainly to the community-development crew… and maybe also to those of us who are both 👋).

Whether you do it formally through your organisation, or informally on your street, in your neighbourhood, or in your own home – often the most powerful kind of community building – the question remains:
What does it actually require?
What’s the job description?
Is it a qualification?
A framework?
A strategy?
Sure, all of that helps.

But I’ve come to believe it’s something simpler – and much more human (and yes, humane).
It’s about how we show up.

Community building isn’t just a profession you perform –

–  it’s a way of being, a way of walking through the world.
It’s how you listen, how you notice, how you keep showing up even when the room is quiet or the work feels unbearably slow.
It’s how you connect people naturally – because you can sense alignment and potential, that spark that whispers: something bigger wants to happen here.

It’s how you engage in the radical act of believing in people.
How you knock on doors, sit beside those others overlook, talk to people society has made invisible.

How you hold their stories – trauma, hopes, humour, contradictions – without leaping in to fix or save.
It’s how you see beauty in the tiny corners of life… simply because you walk slowly enough to notice.
Below are a few qualities I’ve found to be the real “curriculum” of community building:

💬 Be curious

Curiosity opens doors expertise can’t.
When you lead with “What’s possible here?” you start seeing gifts where others see gaps.
🧡 Like people
It sounds obvious, but it’s everything.
Like people — their quirks, their contradictions, their humour.
Communities grow where people feel liked, appreciated, listened to… not fixed.
👂 Listen -really listen
Not to respond.
Not to impress.
But to understand.
Every person carries a story explaining how they became who they are.
Deep listening builds trust – and trust is the soil where collaboration grows.

🪶 Share stories (and hold them well)

Facts inform. Stories connect, teach, heal, ignite. (What can I say, I’m Greek.)
Share your own – even the messy ones.
People recognise themselves in your vulnerability.
And hold other people’s stories with care:
notice them, honour them, share them ethically.

🌼 Appreciate small things
Big change begins with tiny beginnings:
a hello,
a smile,
a cup of tea,
a moment of courage.
If you can see beauty in the small, you’ll never run out of hope.
As Paul Born says:
“What’s the best thing you can do to save the world? Make soup for your neighbour.”

🌊 Be creative

Community work is improvisation.
No script – just presence, responsiveness, and creativity.
Creative asset-identifying.
Creative connection-making.
Creative advocacy.
Creative problem-flipping so solutions appear where others swear none exist.
And yes – creative mistakes.
Not actually mistakes, but opportunities to deepen the relationship if you own them, stay open, stay humble, stay in the room.
Human relationships are messy, beautiful, unpredictable.
Safety is overrated.
What about the dignity of risk?
What about courage?
Community builders need to be people persons – not people-pleasers, not people-judgers.

🌞 Be optimistic
Not blind positivity – courageous belief.
The belief that people can do extraordinary things when given the chance.
Optimism keeps the room alive.
It keeps the door open.
You can sit with pain and name problems – deeply, respectfully – without losing the spark of hope.
When others lose hope, sometimes you hold it for them. Not by fixing – but by staying.
And if you stay long enough, something will always emerge.

🌳 Be patient
Trust the slow work.
Seeds germinate in their own time.
Community building is a long game – relational, place-based, asset-driven, deeply human.
Sometimes your whole role is simply to hold the space long enough for transformation to arrive.
And honestly… what else are you going to do?
You can’t quit.
Rest if you need. Don’t give up. 😄

❤️ Love what you do

Because this work will stretch you – emotionally, spiritually, physically.
Love is what brings you back when your tank is empty.
It’s what helps you forgive yourself on the days you’re far from your best.
And love includes loving yourself, too.
When you hit burnout, compassion fatigue, or moral injury — you need tending.
You need your own medicine.
Your own tribe.
Your own place to heal and refill your cup.
You’re not a machine.
What fuels you?
What nurtures you?
Find that – so you can keep nurturing others.

✨ And most of all… be yourself
Authenticity is the bridge between hearts.
People know when you’re real.
Bring your gifts, your flaws, your weirdness, your wildness – your whole self.
That’s what invites others into theirs.
Community building isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present.
When we meet each other in that warm, curious space, something shifts.
We remember that change isn’t something we deliver.
It’s something we co-create.
You are unique.
The world needs you – the real you.
Go deeper.

What qualities have you found essential in your work or life as a community builder?

✨ Author
Dimitrios Papalexis is the founder of Soulgen, a creative socially concious enterprise helping councils, communities, and youth networks rediscover their collective strengths. His work blends psychodrama, storytelling, and Asset-Based Community Development to nurture authentic participation and connection.